Come on, compassion

I want to dedicate this to my favorite, though I'm sure it isn't the first time I've thought to do that and I doubt it will be the last. 

I was so late to the compassion game.

I was entirely apathetic, in fact. No, worse, I found myself wishing harm, even, to those less fortunate and more burdened than I was... than I am.

...because I didn't see them as less fortunate and burdened. I never thought of them as sick. I always found great pride in being so open minded and understanding and still cast aside these people that, at one point, I didn't even look at like people.

"The world would be better off if..."
"Do us all a favor and..."
"It's like he's not even a fucking person..."

That last one is the most vivid to me because those words cut deep into the feelings of someone that means more to me than I ever thought was possible. Those words came out of my mouth.

It's not up to me to tell someone else's story. It's barely up to me to tell my own but those words, that came out of my mouth, hurt someone. Yes, sure, our feelings are ours to control and no one else is responsible for how we feel but the truth is I said those words - those heartless, hurtful, ugly words and I had no fucking clue what I was talking about.

Unfortunately I was late to this compassion game but fortunately it just took one person to change my life - to expose me to a world that I previously thought I knew enough about. I didn't want to know. I knew it all. I knew everything and knew better. I've never been more grateful to have been so wrong.

So when this kid asks me, "where are the benzos? klonnies? anything?" I can't answer him because, well, I don't know.

But this kid is the love of someone's life.. he was or can be. He is... this kid is more than just some nuisance that's bothering me outside of my own apartment. This kid is a fucking kid that is asking a stranger for pills. This kid needs help. This kid is sick.