Exes and Ooops

This is a true story.

I was crawling into bed with my boyfriend last night.

Crazy, right?

I checked my phone, right before lights out, like you do, and had a message from [what I thought was] my ex* boyfriend's younger brother.

I was tired. I was worn out. I saw the last name and read some words and responded, quickly, promising to respond, properly, later.

Still, this was strange.

It wasn't until I pulled the message up, with the intention to follow through with my promise to respond, that I noticed this was not from my ex boyfriend's younger brother.

This was from my ex boyfriend.

Unedited (I removed NAMES, other than my own - this is not to put anyone on blast - this is a practice in putting it all out there)

I do not care if you know who it is - no attack comments allowed.

• Monday
• 
  

  6/22, 11:25pm

  HIM: Hey. I know this is weird hearing from me so randomly, but I just needed a moment to reflect on my past and you were a big part of that. I've heard you've done some amazing things and good for you. You were always a person who could steal a room. You don't have to respond to this at all, I'm just taking a trip down memory lane. Congrats to you and I hope you continue to be awesome. I guess I just feel bad getting older and realizing how much of a shit I was back then to some people. If I made a black list, I hope I can clear my name and not have to worry about some hired hit man shanking me in some dark alley or taking my ass virginity. Anyway, cheers. Sorry for the randomness and the out of the blue, keep being you. ^corny ass hallmark closing. Lol

• 

  6/22, 11:51pm

  K Scott Faubel

  I'll give this the response it deserves when I am not about to go to sleep. Cheers

• 
  

  6/22, 11:52pm

  
  

  HIM: Goodnight Kim.

• Tuesday
• 

  6/23, 11:59pm

  K Scott Faubel

  So - here I am. I drove to and from LA today to go apartment hunting. I got my dream job offered to me (seemingly out of nowhere) and here I am. Back in Vegas.

  When I read this right before bed last night, I only saw the last name and thought your brother had written it. Holy shit, he didn't, it was you.

  So, with that in mind, I have done some amazing things and I can definitely still steal a room.

  You may not need to read this but you opened this can and here are the worms - you were awful to me. You have remained a terrible memory for me for a long time but, conversely, I believe on forgiveness and compassion more than I ever have.

  I don't feel it's necessary to go over actions or results. You were there. I know I could've done things differently too but I'm glad we didn't.

  I'm thrilled with my life now. My subsequent relationships and station in life have been more than fulfilling and rewarding. I hope you can say the same.

  I definitely wished some shanking on you at some point but I let that go a long time ago.

  Thanks for messaging me. Though I was caught off guard at first and was definitely under the wrong impression of the sender, I'm happy I was wrong about it.
• 

  12:00am

  K Scott Faubel

  I'll know tomorrow if I got approved for the apartment in LA. The dream job is secure, now I just need somewhere to lay my head
• 
  

  HIM: We only grow wiser as we get older. Maybe you don't wish things were done differently, but I do. No, we don't need to go down memory lane again, but I just felt like a balance needed to be applied, and you were a memory I just couldn't possibly forget about even if I tried. Very few people can carry the character and charisma of Kim. Lol. I've come a long way though since those days and I just needed to send you an apology and make peace if possible. What job offer did you receive in LA?
• 
  
• 

  12:38am

  K Scott Faubel

  Well, it's me, so it's designing and selling high end adult products. A very well established adult industry vet contacted me. He sought me out. How fucking amazing is that.

  May I ask, did something prompt this contact?
• 
  

  12:47am

  
  

  HIM: No, it's just been years of build up. I wanted to talk to you and make amends the day I came out with [MUTUAL FRIEND'S NAME] to your show, but you didn't seem interested in seeing me at all and I just let that moment go. I knew what I had done and it was hard for me to face and I wasn't about to make your proud moment awkward. I grew up with a fucked up past and even more fucked up relationships, you remember the psycho I was seeing before you. I still shudder at the thought of her. Lol. It just all did its damage and it took me a while before I found out who exactly I was or wanted to be, and unfortunately you were the one who got me in all of that mess. You were an awesome person, I let myself get lost and take it out on the wrong person. Regardless, you were the original one who actually helped push me to find myself and get my shit together. I hated losing you and I was too stubborn to admit my faults as they came. You've been a role model to a lot of people and you deserve the things you now proudly carry with you. I made contact with you because I've carried a lot of guilt and as I grew older and more mature it just dug at me more that I was able to lose touch with you (a good person) because of my own immaturity.
• 
  

  12:48am

  HIM: And there isn't anything wrong with sticking to what you know. Porn is a big business and you making a career of it is something I could see you enjoying for quite a while.
• 

  12:56am

  K Scott Faubel

  I'm not ashamed of it. I just know it's not a surprise to those that know me.

  Your past is what kept me around for as long as it did. I saw it as an excuse for behavior that, otherwise, I wouldn't have tolerated.

  What I've learned since then is this - my feelings are my responsibilities. You acted in ways and said things that cut me to my core. They didn't have to. I could've loved myself enough to be better about it and I didn't. Not the. Anyway.
• 

  12:57am

  K Scott Faubel

  *then
• 
  

  12:58am

  
  

  HIM: 100% accurate.
• 

  1:06am

  K Scott Faubel

  So there it is.
• 
  

  1:10am

  
  

  HIM: It's all good Kim. I'm not shocked/surprised. You reap what you sow. I fucked up a lot back then and I had to pay for it eventually, I'm just sorry it hurt someone who I cared about along that path.
• 

  1:12am

  K Scott Faubel

  Thank you
• 
  

  1:14am

  
  

  HIM: You're welcome. Maybe if you're ever in town again for a visit we could grab a drink or two and throw bread crumbs to the homeless, if you feel up to it.
• 

  1:29am

  K Scott Faubel

  I'll be in town again since I have so many family Members still there. I'll buy the homeless people sandwiches.
• 
  

  1:30am

  
  

  HIM: They like liquid bread the best. I don't blame them. Lol.
• 

  2:42am

  K Scott Faubel

  Yeah. I've seen worse homeless than Harrisburg can offer.